Severed
by Maduin
Summary: Subaru casts a spell to exorcize a ghost that also severs his tie to Seishirou. Review~ (chapters 2 and 3 added!)
1. Prologue

{{--Eccentricity ::version one point zero:: Ivory Light--}} 

**Prologue**

  
By Kira, Mitsu, and Maduin   
  
The sunrise tainted the sky random shades of orange and yellow, with a splash of the occasional pink to spice up the mix. Sumeragi Subaru leaned on the wall, his face carefully schooled to a calm expression, despite his utter exhaustion. He had thought about attempting to sleep, but found that he knew he wouldn't have been able to. He usually wasn't even lucky enough to have four hours of sleep, so he should be thanking whatever deity had mercy on him.   
  
He sighed, running fingers through his silken black hair, eyelids dropping closed over deep jade eyes. He wondered, to himself, if the only person who understood his pain, too, was awake. He could find out, he knew, by sending his shikigami, but he didn't feel it necessary.   
  
Kamui was more like him than cared to admit, which was why he hadn't liked the boy to begin with. He hated himself, and he didn't like Kamui much either because he wasn't that different. Subaru sighed, letting his head thud against the wall. Still, he was bored, and having someone to talk to might be enjoyable.   
  
"Enough small talk," he said to himself, as if his musings were an entirely different entity. "I have work to do."   
  
Subaru slid out of his shower, hair damp, his skin still slightly red from the shower. He threw off his towel; careful to make sure it didn't land on the bed. The last thing he needed were wet sheets. He slipped on a pair of boxers after a moment, and then pulled his pants on.   
  
He had a job to get to, and he was already running behind. Not that it mattered, he could make up some excuse for his tardiness, or he could be honest. He knew no one would say anything. He was, after all, one of the best-known onmyouji in Tokyo, if not _the_ best. He was also, the thirteenth head of the Sumeragi, and that got him a lot of respect. Not that he hadn't earned it, though. With a sigh, he pulled a black shirt over his head, sliding his arms into the sleeves.   
  
It fit him rather snug, not that it mattered to him. He would never admit it, but he knew he looked good in tight clothing. Especially from the way Seishirou and Kamui both looked at him. Subaru yawned slightly, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. He was rather tired.   
  
"I really need to get Obaa-chan to schedule my appointments for later. Maybe I could have gotten another hour or so of sleep," he muttered, pulling a satin black sock over each of his feet. He sighed a bit, pulling one of his boots onto a foot. He yawned again as he pulled it's twin over his opposite foot, then tucked his pant legs into his boots.   
  
Despite the fact that he knew his twin was probably having a massive tantrum inside of Seishirou's tree, he happened to like his wardrobe. He stood up; stretching the sore muscles in his back, then grabbed his white trench coat off the chair that sat next to his window. There was a reason he kept it there, after all. Sighing again, dramatically, he pulled it on and sauntered out the door.   
  


* * * * 

  
  
Subaru, Seishirou mused with a slight grin, was quite possibly the most amusing person on the planet. Despite the fact that the onmyouji was always modest, he knew that Subaru had some idea of how good-looking he was. After all, Subaru wore tight shirts, and rather form-fitting pants, all the time.   
  
Seishirou grinned slightly. Unless, of course, the onmyouji was wearing them just to impress him. Seishirou smirked, finding this to be a rather amusing thought.   
  
"My dear Subaru-kun, what are you up to today?" Seishirou asked, tilting his head.   
  
He wasn't usually up this early, but the tree had been rather moody and demanded a meal at that moment, and had said in no uncertain terms that if he didn't get his butt out of bed, he would be having nightmares for months to come. So, to shut the whiney tree up, he got up, fed it, and found that his Subaru-kun was also out of bed.   
  
Seishirou sighed, tilting his head some. "Subaru-kun, I'm missing a perfectly good day of sleep. You had better provide sufficient entertainment," he said softly, watching the younger onmyouji wander out into the street, looking rather disoriented.   
  


* * * *   
  


Subaru was indeed disoriented. Lack of sufficient sleep had caused the onmyouji to waiver in his stride. This was a dangerous working condition, he knew, but seeing as how he really couldn't care less if he dropped dead right here - although he would _prefer_ it if Seishirou were the cause of his death - and doubted if anyone else cared either, he chose to ignore the present unsteady feeling that his knees were currently giving him.   
  
With a twinge of irritation, he felt the beginnings of a headache start to gnaw at the middle of his brain. Great! _Another_ distraction to add to the unusually huge pile of them that he already had. As he walked down the street towards the site of his next job, he counted them off on his fingers. Beginning with his right thumb: he currently hated his life (ok that was a given). Next the index finger: Kamui acted like he wanted to jump in his pants. Subaru rolled his eyes a little at that one. Then the middle finger shot up with the first two: _he_ wanted to jump into Seishirou's pants; granted he hated himself for that, and he had every intention of fighting those urges, but they were there just the same. Ring finger next: he was running low on cigarettes (damn imports, they were always so expensive). And, finally, the pinkie went up with the rest: he was a Dragon of Heaven. But, as he reflected on his list, he just had to add his left thumb as well: Seishirou was a Dragon of the Earth... like that didn't add a cramp to their already screwed up relationship.   
  
He looked down at his hands for a second, his little list of distractions that would surely grow, and let out a bitter laugh. It figured, he _would_ have to be going to work with this kind of crap on his mind.   
  
Subaru blinked as he arrived at the address. It was... an animal clinic. His eyes narrowed as unwanted memories floated to the surface of his mind, of lunches, and afternoons spent at a similar place. With his sister... with Seishirou.   
  
His eyes went from the building's number to the scrap piece of paper in his hand and back again before he realized that he _was_ at the correct address. He shrugged and gripped the door handle, hoping that he wouldn't still want to pet all of the little... wait, was that yet another distraction he could add? Subaru rolled his eyes at himself as he pulled open the door.   
  
Subaru stopped after the first step. He was disconcerted to say the least, the room should be flooded with light from the two large front windows, instead it was filled with an inky blackness. It did not seem dark from lack of light; rather from lack of - how to put it - everything. There was no goodness, no peace. The only emotion he could feel was hate, mixed perhaps with a touch of fear. He almost couldn't stand it! It was crawling over his skin like thousands upon thousands of ants, trying to enter his soul, to infect him with its essence.   
  
With little effort he managed to push down the panic that had begun to rise within him. He quickly found his center, very useful trick that, hopefully he would be able to reason his way out of his current situation. His first priority, he realized, would be to see what he faced; if indeed it was capable of being seen at all, and to do that he would need light. However, no light was allowed to enter where he presently was, so he would have to summon his own. Apparently conventional light, the kind formed by photons, would not work in this case. No, what he needed to use was the light of his soul.   
  
Subaru almost gave over to despair at this, but then managed to calm himself. Normally, to use the light of ones own soul took several hours of meditation, added to that was the fact that Subaru had never done a soul illumination summoning before.   
  
The tidal wave of venomous, hate filled ants appeared to be reaching upwards. They had covered the entire lower half of his body and were slowly moving up his chest. Still within his center, Subaru dimly realized that they had reached his arms and started to move downward, towards his hands. If he didn't react within the next few minutes, he would probably lose the use of them altogether.   
  
Think! They were heading toward his hands. There was something significant in that, but he couldn't think of what. He was beginning to be overwhelmed by the sensation of them. His hands were important. Why? They were a connection to something. Yes, he thought he understood that now. But, a connection to what?   
  
Hate, upon hate, upon hate...   
  
A person.   
  
Surrounding him...   
  
To whom?   
  
Reaching lower...   
  
To... Gods! Why couldn't he think of who it was?   
  
Towards the marks...   
  
The marks? Where had that come from? Were there marks on his hands? Had someone put them there?   
  
Eager in their searching for the outline of the stars imprinted there...   
  
Was it the same person he was linked to?   
  
They were almost to his wrists now...   
  
To...   
  
Almost... there...   
  
Seishirou! His mind supplied him with the name and face simultaneously. The marks on his hands bound his _soul_ to Seishirou. He could use them to dispel the darkness. He quickly went to work, going deeper into his center, trying to find that which had bound his soul to Seishirou years ago. On some surface level of his mind, he recognized that Seishirou would probably notice what he was about to do, but he remained largely unaware of this fact.   
  
At last, he found what he was seeking. It was a river, flowing with the glittery green luminance that was his soul. It flowed outward, towards a destination that he could not see, for it was too distant. He reached toward the glowing river... and built a dam, ceasing its flow.   
  


* * * *   
  


Seishirou's eyes widened ever so slightly, hardly enough for anyone - except maybe one person - to really notice, and he looked up. He had been contemplating his cigarette, watching it burn down really, when he felt his link with Subaru cut off.   
  
He was certain that Subaru was not dead, he would have felt it had that been the case. Actually, he supposed that even in death they would remain bonded; for it is the body that dies, not the soul. With all of his logical prowess, he could find no reason that could explain this sudden loss.   
  
Hmmm... Loss? Why should he consider it as such? Its not as if he cares one way or the other. No, irritation was what it was. He had placed those marks on Subaru's hands sixteen years ago to mark Subaru as his prey, his property. It was no different than a child who marks his name on a favorite toy for the same purpose, to declare it as belonging to him, and he would be damned if he was going to let that declaration of ownership be erased.   
  
"Well Subaru-kun," he began as he dragged the last remaining bit out of his dying cigarette, "it seems as if the time for being entertained is over." With a final release of smoke, he finished with, "This is now a matter of business."   
  


* * * *   
  


Now that Subaru had complete control over the flow of his soul, he directed his attention to diverting it so he was able to use its luminance to his advantage. Still within his center, he cast his gaze about in search of the means to use it in the physical reality.   
  
Attempting to follow the river to its source, he arrived at its mouth, which emptied into a large green pool. It was glowing with an inner light. It appeared so pure and fresh that he almost shed tears for its sheer beauty. Is this what a soul was? Is _this_ what had drawn Seishirou to him on that chance encounter over a decade ago? He almost could not believe it.   
  
Peering to look within the depths of the pool, he seemed to see a very faint shape etched along the bottom. It appeared almost as if a finger had drawn it into sand, the inverted pentagram of the Sakurazukamori. That was the link his hands provided him with, it was also his means of escaping his current situation.   
  
He focused his energy on the outline of the star there, building the pressure within himself. The etched lines were growing deeper... and darker. He continued to focus the pressure... He heard his physical form gasp with the effort to breathe. Apparently the hate had been building from without and was now causing this difficulty, he would have to work quickly.   
  
When it seemed as if the lines could go no deeper, something slithered within and was disintegrated the instant it entered the pure green pool, evaporating with a slight _hiss_ which sent a little ripple across the glowing surface.   
  
Without, Subaru had begun to lose precious life providing oxygen. The crawling wave of hate approached the stars just as they started to radiate from the depths of Subaru's soul. Every moving particle that neared the light was destroyed, and the remaining bits began to shrink away from the threat that Subaru provided.   
  
Subaru was forced from his center, and fell to the floor of the clinic's waiting room in a choking, gasping heap.   
  


* * * *   
  


When Seishirou had initially seen Subaru enter the clinic, he had released a dark laugh at the irony of it. However, he was not laughing now.   
  
As he approached, the windows began to release a beautiful green glow. It was soft at first, then it began to intensify. He had a vivid memory of this _particular_ color...   
  
_I'll make a bet with you..._   
  
He knew exactly what it was. Seishirou stopped in his tracks as this flashed in his brain, then leaned against the wall of the neighboring building... waiting.   
  


* * * *   
  


Subaru shook his head as the muddled thoughts began to regain their focus once more and clambered to his feet. Ignoring the slight dizziness that threatened to overtake him, from both lack of sleep and food, he saw the light pouring from his hands beginning to fade. After a couple of minutes it had completely vanished, returning to its depths within him.   
  
For the first time he was able to really see the waiting room of the clinic as it really was - very similar to Seishirou's actually - from the light that entered through the front windows.   
  
His hands began to shake as the full weight of his actions slammed into him. He had _severed_ his tie to Seishirou. He ran a hand through his hair, almost not believing. Actually, this was incorrect, and he knew it. What he had done was to gain control over his tie to Seishirou, he could return it if he so chose. However, he did not imagine himself doing that any time in the near future.   
  
Realizing that his work here was now complete, although he did not manage to find out what had caused the vengeful spirit in the first place, he approached the door and stepped out, grateful to be in the sun once again.   
  


* * * *   
  


A voice of honey was awaiting him when he exited the clinic, one that Subaru was not at all surprised to hear. He had known that Seishirou would come running at this violation of his ownership did he not?   
  
"Ohayo Subaru-kun." Was all the voice said. A slight emphasis was placed on the "kun" as Seishirou said this, a gesture that implied so many things. Things in fact that were no longer even appropriate, Subaru was _no longer_ his property.   
  
The corners of Subaru's mouth turned up a little at this. Of course he would smile, he had regained control of his life. Seishirou still owned his heart, he knew all too well, but Seishirou didn't know that, and Subaru doubted if he even cared. Subaru knew one thing he cared about though, and he was going to throw it right back in Seishirou's face, just as Seishirou had done with his love those nine years ago.   
  
Subaru walked right up to Seishirou and looked him directly in the eye. Two deep jade ones, afire with a new light, the light of freedom, to a mismatched pair.   
  
"I," he began, tone cold yet soft, words for Seishirou's ears alone, "am no longer your prey, Sakurazukamori."   
  
Then he brushed past, and continued walking away from Seishirou. Hands thrust deep into his pants pockets to hide their trembling.   
  
Seishirou, who was no longer leaning against the wall, was rendered speechless, a state of being that he had never before experienced in his lifetime. 


	2. Chapter 1

bChapter 1/bbrbr  
Sakurazuka Seishirou, Sakurazukamori since age fifteen was, to say the least, unnerved. For more then half of his life, he had been tied to the Sumeragi. He leaned against his apartment wall, smoking his fifth cigarette in the last fifteen minutes. He wasn't sure what to make of this new sensation. In fact, he wasn't even sure what to call it. It wasn't pain---pain hurt. But it wasn't joy, or fear, either. It was something that left him confused. brbr  
  
"You're unnerved," a suspicious voice said to him. brbr  
  
"I can tell," Seishirou said dryly, irritated. brbr  
  
"Don't be angry with me, I'm not the one who went and got attached to my archnemesis," the voice replied, amused.   
"Saku-chan, you're about to anger me. That means you're going to get fed the bare minimum," Seishirou replied sarcastically. He smirked as he heard the tree make a sound remarkably like an indignant snort.brbr   
  
"You're being entirely immature. You could, theoretically, remark him as yours," the tree said, still amused.brbr  
  
"That's a good idea, but you forget, Subaru-kun is a formidable opponent now," Seishirou replied, tapping his chin calmly. brbr  
  
"Dinner?" the Sakurazuka said, sarcasm dripping from it's 'voice'. brbr  
  
"Not yet, you know better. He's mine." Seishirou said sharply, causing a rough bout of laughter from the tree as it broke their connection. brbr  
  
Seishirou narrowed his eyes, looking at the stub remaining of his cigarette, then reached into his pack for another. "Empty?" he said, glancing at the pack of cigarettes in mild annoyance. Absently, Seishirou sighed, rubbing his temples. He'd have to admit it: Today was turning out to be one of the worst days in his life. Right up there with the day he stumbled down the stairs, back in highschool. Seishirou stiffled snickers. Even if it wasn't funny at the time, looking back on the incident, he found himself laughing. Who'd have imagined, he, Sakurazuka Seishirou, would fall down a staircase? Seishirou smiled despite himself. Some things would just always be amusing to him. brbr  
  
Seishirou pulled himself off the wall, hand coming to the door handle subconsciously, where it faltered. "What was that?" Seishirou thought, tilting his head mildly as he glanced at the door.brbr  
  
"You're beyond out of it, or are you just not used to sensing him normally? That's your doll, Seishirou," the Sakura scolded mildly. brbr  
  
Seishirou paused, hands still remaining poised above his door handle when he heard a faint knocking sound. Seishirou opened the door a crack, seeing Subaru peering in at him. "May I ask why my archnemesis is knocking at my door?" Seishirou said calmly, opening the door the rest of the way. brbr  
  
He moved out of the way, letting Subaru walk into his house. "Please, take a seat," Seishirou said casually, blinking.   
"Going somewhere, Seishirou-san?" Subaru asked, not bothering to take a seat. brbr  
  
"Actually, yes. I ran out of cigarettes, but that can wait. Why on earth are you here, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou said, amused to see that his voice didn't stress the honorific too much. brbr  
  
"Actually, I'm not sure. I just wanted to come see you," Subaru replied, ignoring the nickname as he leaned on the wall slightly. The younger onmyouji looked up at Seishirou for a moment, then back down, absently cursing his hands for their persistant shivering. brbr  
  
"Would you like to come with me, then, Subaru-kun?" Seishirou asked conversationally. brbr  
  
"Someone wants to spend time with their pet," the tree said through Seishirou's mind, sounding almost amused.   
Seishirou winced slightly, and Subaru looked up, startled. "What's wrong?" he asked concerned.brbr  
  
"Be truthful, Seishirou, tell him you want to grab him and drag him to bed with you, and I'm teasing you about it," the tree said, and Seishirou rolled his eyes.brbr  
  
"The sakura is... being a pest," Seishirou replied, rubbing his temples. brbr  
  
"What's it doing?" Subaru asked quietly. brbr  
  
"She, actually. Female sounding anyway. She's... found it entirely amusing, that you managed to severe our tie, and she's taunting me about it," Seishirou replied, rolling his eyes again. brbr  
  
Subaru couldn't help but grin. "Is it bothering you, Seishirou-san?" he said despite himself.brbr  
  
"I'm not used to it, is all," Seishirou replied honestly. Subaru still smiled, happy to have finally one-upped Seishirou. "After you, Subaru-kun," Seishirou said, gesturing to the door. Subaru smirked, and slipped out, knowing Seishirou would follow suit. Seishirou watched him for a moment, then locked and closed the door, following Subaru out of the apartment complex in disturbing silence. brbr  
  
After exiting the complex, Subaru paused to drop his cigarette, carefully smudging it out with his boot. "So, where are we going to buy your cigarettes, anyway?" he asked quietly, glancing at Seishirou who looked startled by the sudden speech. Subaru smiled faintly, reveling in how much he was surprising Seishirou today.brbr  
  
"Let's get this over with, why did you really come, Subaru-kun? To try and torment me? Or just to see how I was dealing with not being connected to you?" Seishirou said irritably, turning on his heel to walk away, leaving Subaru with the choice to follow or not. brbr  
  
Subaru contemplated not following, just to see if Seishirou spoke to the air, but decided against it, and walked after the older man. "What makes you so sure I had any of that in mind, Seishirou-san?" Subaru said, slightly stressing the honorific, gaining an irritated look from the assassin. brbr  
  
"Because you seem amused by my behavior," Seishirou snapped.brbr  
  
Subaru smiled, pulling Seishirou to a halt. "I came to see you," Subaru said softly.brbr  
  
Seishirou gave him a pointed look. "I don't believe that," Seishirou said softly. brbr  
  
Subaru smiled, then leaned up to brush his lips across Seishirou's softly. "I'm sorry you feel that way," Subaru whispered, turning on his heel to walk off. brbr  
  
Seishirou stared after him, gawking slightly. "My, my, he's forward today," the tree informed Seishirou, amusement written clearly through her words. brbr  
  
Seishirou scoffed, then walked across the slightly snow-covered ground, hands buried deep in his pockets. "Yes... that he is."brbr  
  
center* * * */center brbr  
  
Subaru walked through the snow, his head bowed slightly, eyes closed. "I kissed him," he said to himself. "Why did I have to kiss him?" Subaru was suddenly yearning for a cigarette, too, but had run out, so he had to content himself with chewing on the inside of his lips.brbr  
  
He was really surprised, to say the least. Never in a million years would he have imagined himself kissing Seishirou. Subaru looked up and paused as he reached his apartment complex, lifting one of his hands to his face. It was slightly strange, looking at them without the scars which bound him eternally to the Sakurazukamori as his prey. Subaru closed his eyes some. brbr  
  
i"Therefore, today, I'll let you go..."/i brbr  
  
Subaru opened his eyes, unnerved to find that tears had filled them, then dashed into his apartment complex before any unwanted strangers could notice his tears. He would never admit it, but he was too proud to allow anyone to see him cry in public. brbr  
  
Subaru ran into his apartment, slamming the door behind him, then threw his head down onto his bed, crying as he had cried years before, the first time he lost Seishirou. "Seishirou-san... Seishirou-san..." he whimpered out, tears spilling over his baby-soft cheeks as raven hair fell over the tears, hiding his face successfully behind it's mass.brbr   
  
Subaru reached a gloveless hand up to wipe away his tears, and sighed. "Seishirou-san... do you hate me?" Subaru asked, looking up slightly, then at the back of his hand. "For this..?" brbr  
  
center* * * */centerbrbr  
  
Seishirou paid for his cigarettes, pocketing the three packs of Mild Sevens he had bought. "I think... I realize what this feeling is, Saku-chan," Seishirou informed the tree mentally. brbr  
  
The tree let out a soft snort, then a sound suspiciously like a snicker. "And what is it, my guardian?" the tree asked, amused. brbr  
  
"Loss. Emptiness," Seishirou said aloud, barely above a whisper, his tone showing obvious discomfort at the words he spoke. brbr  
  
"Very good. Quick, can you tell me why?" the tree responded, still amused. brbr  
  
"Because... Subaru-kun is important to me," Seishirou said, his tone still inaudible. brbr  
  
"Very good. Now, I'll tell you that your boy-toy is in his apartment crying his eyes out because he thinks you hate him," the Sakura replied, it's tone changing dramatically.brbr  
  
"You're joking," Seishirou said aloud, glancing around to make sure no one heard him. brbr  
  
"You weren't exactly prince charming, Seishirou. He was quite upset, and he's still crying. You should go see him," the tree said in a tone that said the matter was not up for discussion. brbr  
  
Seishirou frowned a little, allowing the cool winter's breeze to blow through his hair, then turned on his heel, heading back toward Subaru's apartment, muttering something faintly about overbearing trees.brbr   
  
center* * * */centerbrbr  
  
Seishirou, the Sakurazuka mused, could really be a prick sometimes; especially when it came to the one person on the earth that really cared for him. Granted, he iwas/i raised to be emotionless, and, barring that, to never allow them to factor into anything that he ever said or did. But, it wasnt as if he didn't ihave/i emotions, he did, he was just unaccustomed to using them with any regularity.brbr  
  
The ancient tree heaved a mental sigh, it could not heave a physical one for lack of a body. She supposed that it was all her fault, her guardian's present mental state. If she had not allowed, or in fact encourgaed, the training that led to the expulsion of emotion over the generations, then perhaps ishe/i would not be the one suffering now.brbr  
  
Out of the hundreds of Sakurazukamori that had enabled her to thrive, Seishirou was among her favorite few, and she truly hated to see him suffer as he currently was; but ishe/i would be in serious peril if he was unable to perform his duty to her. Since she was the cause behind all of this misery, including her own, she supposed that she had better remidy the situation.brbr  
  
center* * * */centerbrbr  
  
Still laying on the bed, Subaru traced the lines of a star that no longer appeared on the back of his right hand. He didn't think he could stand it if he thought that Seishirou truly hated him. It was a remembered emotion as well, for he could almost feel the pain return to his hands from repeated pounding on a certain hospital door.brbr  
  
i"Seishirou-san!... Seishirou-san!..." Subaru still called even as he began to slump to the floor of the hospital corridor./ibrbr  
  
His tears began afresh as he remembered the terrible pain that this realization had given him in his youth...brbr  
  
i"Please don't hate me."/ibrbr  
  
The realization that Seishirou was the only person he didn't want to hate him, was the only person whose hatred he would not be able to bare, because...brbr  
  
i"Because I..."/ibrbr  
  
Long ago Subaru had realized that he loved him.brbr  
  
i"... love you."/ibrbr  
  
Subaru nestled his face in the crook of one arm and cried the remainder of his tears. He felt foolish crying like this, but it had been so long since he had cried over this reason... over this person. It was slightly refreshing to be releasing such emotion.brbr  
  
After his emotional outpouring, Subaru rolled off of the bed and onto his feet with a sigh. He was going to take a quick shower and wash away the tears, and hopefully the last of his dispair would flow down the drain along with them. brbr  
  
Turning on the heat full blast, he stood directly under the shower head and let the beads of water pelt him. He closed his eyes as he turned his face toward it... and he began to imagine that someone else was there with him. His eyes flew open, were immediately stung by the water and he winced them shut again, shaking his head under the spray. Gods, why did he have to think about these sort of things? He quickly soaped up and got out of the shower, no longer feeling very comfortable within its confines.brbr  
  
Now however, Subaru was restless. He had always been aware of his nervous energies, and while he had a deep distaste for the profession that he was born into, he had to admit that it was most appropriate for him and was an excellent outlet.brbr  
  
But, he had finished his "job" for that day, and his grandmother had not faxed him another - surprisingly enough - so the entire rest of his day was free. He knew that if he stayed cooped up in his apartment, although the current cold snap suggested that this might be a wise decision, he would just begin to broode over his problems. Although, he reflected, he could probably do just the same if he were to go out, there was never anything wrong with a little fresh air.brbr  
  
center* * * */centerbrbr  
  
Not fitting with his usual state, and probably for the tenth time that day, Seishirou sighed. He found that he was doing quite a few uncharacteristic things today, and this disturbed him. He was brooding; he knew it, and he did inot/i like it. The sakura had apparantly found some sense of mercy and was leaving him be for the time being, so he sent a small thank you to whatever God or Gods that had smiled upon him with that little favor. Not that he felt that he deserved it of course.brbr  
  
Considering his current mood, as he headed toward where he remembered Subaru's apartment to be, he had never before realized how dependant he had become on his constant link with Subaru - his prey - and how truly a part of him it had grown to be.brbr  
  
In the past - iGods, was it only this morning?/i - he had always been able to sense what Subaru had been feeling, now he could not; and with a slight pang of regret, he realized that a great majority of Subaru's constant state of being over the past nine years had been dispair.brbr  
  
"And I was the cause of it." Had he really said that aloud? Yes, he had. He knew it was true as well. He stopped in his tracks, hands in the pockets of his raven trenchcoat, and looked at the snow for a moment before moving on. brbr  
  
His greatest dilema now was in getting this straight in his mind before he confronted Subaru again. He knew that Subaru was important to him, he had finally realized that after this rediculous amount of time. He knew that he deeply missed not being connected with Subaru at all times; not being able to tell what Subaru was feeling or where his immediate location was all factored into this as well.brbr  
  
What Seishirou did not know, was iwhy/i he felt that he needed this sort of control over Subaru. He knew that to want this was wrong, but it was something he needed, something he ached for, and he couldn't understand why.brbr  
  
His memory threw him back to the moment when he initially felt the connection severed. He had felt as if his legs had just been cut off at the knees, that some key part of him had gone missing and no matter how hard he looked he would never again be able to find it.brbr  
  
An intense emotion began to creep from his hind brain forward where he began to put a name to it: it was fear. Fear of being without Subaru, even if it was something as small as their bond... fear of being alone. brbr  
  
Seishirou then had the sensation of a heay stone being dropped in the pit of his stomach and being left there to rot. His step wavered and he stopped to steady himself against a nearby wall, hoping that the feeling would quickly pass.brbr  
  
center* * * */centerbrbr  
  
Of all the people in the world, Subaru dimly wondered, iwhy/i did he have to fall in love with Seishirou. Not only was he Subaru's arch nemesis, as Seishirou himself had so bluntly phrased it earlier, he was Subaru's twin star, polar opposite, clan enemy, and was on the opposing side in the fight for the Destiny of Earth. Seishirou was probably the worst person that he could have fallen in love with. Well, perhaps not ithe/i worst, he supposed that he could be in love with either one of the Kamuis for example. He shivered at such a thought... especially the dark Kamui.brbr  
  
Subaru knew that you couldn't chose those that you loved, but by all rights he should hate Seishriou with every fiber of his being. He should be attempting to kill Seishirou at this very moment, and yet he was not. Seishirou had broken his heart, had given Subaru a pain that he had never known before, and yet Subaru still loved him. Even when he went within and was brought out by yet another torment induced by Seishirou, Subaru icontinued/i to love him.brbr  
  
He felt that it was rather stupid actually, but it was something that he couldnt change. In truth, Subaru wasn't sure that he would change it even if he could. Somehow, knowing, and feeling his love for Seishirou was what kept him alive, it kept him functioning on a daily baisis. Without it he would probably shatter, for all the better that would be because all that would be left was an empty shell.brbr  
  
center* * * */center brbr  
  
Subaru had just turned a corner, when he saw a familiar figure slumped against the side of a building. He approached with caution and noted that Seishirou's eyes were closed in an expression of pain, something that he had never before seen on Seishriou's face.brbr  
  
In a voice laced with concern, Subaru asked, "Seishirou-san... daijobu ka?"brbr  
  
Recognizing the voice, Seishirou moved quickly, too quickly for Subaru to react, and grabbed Subaru into a tight embrace, clutching the back of his white coat. brbr  
  
Subaru's eyes went wide with surprise, but after a few seconds where he realized that Seishriou wasn't going to let go immediately, he brought his arms up a bit to hug the older onmyouji back.brbr  
  
As an answer to Subaru's question, Seishriou replied, "Hai... just, don't let go." brbr  
  
center* * * */centerbrbr  
  
"Is this happening?" Subaru thought, slightly taken aback by the occurrences. He glanced up quickly to catch Seishirou's face in his eyes: a perfect picture of comfort. brbr  
  
Subaru smiled faintly, allowing his eyes to droop closed as he leaned his cheek lightly against Seishirou's chest. Then, realizing what he was doing, Subaru pulled himself free and slammed Seishirou against a wall. "Don't touch me!" Subaru hissed, then took off the other way at a startling pace. brbr  
  
Seishirou blinked, half shocked by Subaru's sudden behavior. "What... was that.. about? He ifelt/i so comfortable... why?" Seishirou said aloud, trying desperately to banish the startled expression playing over his face.brbr   
  
"He's afraid of you," the Sakurazuka said flatly, as if this should explain everything. brbr  
  
"He's strong enough to be a formidable foe, why should he be afraid of me?" Seishirou asked, glancing around slightly before turning on his heel to walk away. brbr  
  
"You're a complete idiot," the Sakura said fondly, "he's not afraid of you as the Sakurazukamori, but afraid of you as a man, Seishirou. He's in love with you, and he's terrified by it. Are you just going to walk away?" brbr  
  
"He said not to touch him, and if I go near him again, I'm liable to cling to him, and not let him go this time," Seishirou commented absently, fingers running through his ebony hair. brbr  
  
"You're a fool, too. You're both complete fools," the Sakurazuka said flatly, then broke the connection, no longer wanting to talk to Seishirou. brbr  
  
center* * * */centerbrbr  
  
"What is wrong with me?!" Subaru said aloud, frustrated with himself, and half with Seishirou for letting him walk away.brbr   
  
"There are many things. Do you want a list, Sumeragi?" the tree said, earning a startled stutter from Subaru. brbr  
  
"W-Who!?" Subaru stuttered, glancing around as if paranoid, his green eyes wide with confusion.brbr  
  
"Your faerie God mother. Take a guess," the Tree replied sarcastically. brbr  
  
Subaru narrowed his eyes slightly, leaning on a wall. "Quick, explain to me why Seishirou-san's tree is bitching at me," Subaru said bitterly.brbr  
  
"I'm not bitching. In fact, I'm not the one who pushed my pseudo-boyfriend against a wall and demanded he not touch me when I would so love it if he'd drag me to bed with him. Nope, that was you, Sumeragi," the Sakura said slyly, amused by the sudden choking noises Subaru was trying to suppress.brbr  
  
"What the hell do you want?" Subaru managed to mutter through his choking, narrowing his eyes more.brbr  
  
"You're glaring at the air, Sumeragi," the Sakura said, an almost fond note in it's 'voice'. brbr  
  
"What do you want?" Subaru repeated, blinking confusedly a few times, half-wondering how the tree knew he was glaring. brbr  
  
"You're frustrating my master, and it's starting to give me a migraine, not to mention that you're still tied to me, so I'm getting the blunt of your neurosis too. One of you needs to stop being stupid, and I decided you're more liable to listen to me then my air headed guardian," the Sakura said, amused slightly by Subaru's confusion.brbr  
  
"Frustrating in what s---What do you mean?" Subaru said, cutting off his original sentence before it could escape his lips.brbr  
  
"Frustrating in both senses, Sumeragi. I realize you're hurt, in fact, you constantly remind me with your damned mood swings, but I'd truly appreciate it if you'd stop being a prate and fix the damned situation. I'd be yelling at Seishirou, but he's currently wallowing in guilt, misery, pain... I'm running out of synonyms," the Tree said, half musing at the end part.brbr  
  
"Seishirou-san's miserable? Well la-de-dah, welcome to my world!" brbr  
  
"Oh believe me, Sumeragi, you give me enough migraines to knock a two-ton elephant to the moon and back, I don't need Seishirou adding to it." brbr  
  
"What a pity, the homicidal tree has a headache," Subaru said, sounding irritated.brbr  
  
"Okay, I'm sick of talking to you like this, so I'm going to do something I never imagined I'd have to do," the tree said, sounding annoyed.brbr  
  
"What's that, hm?" Subaru said, sounding irritated. Behind him, a few sakura petals picked up off the ground, swirling through the air slightly.brbr  
  
"This," a woman's voice called from behind Subaru.brbr  
  
"H-Hokuto-chan!?" Subaru stuttered, whirling around.brbr  
  
"Told you I could get you back, now you can deal with your sister," the Sakura said, slightly stressing the word 'sister' with a fond note in it's tone. brbr  
  
center* * * */centerbrbr  
  
"What was that?" Seishirou asked the tree mentally, having sensed an imbalance in the tree's energy.brbr  
  
"I was telling your play toy off, and he irritated me, so I really let him have it," the tree replied, sounding amused.brbr  
  
"What did you do?" Seishirou said, sounding thoroughly pissed.brbr  
  
"Turned his sister loose on him," the Tree replied. brbr  
  
Seishirou let out a sigh of relief that quickly turned to anguish. "Oh Lord... a screeching fit from Hokuto-chan..." brbr  
  
"Never mess with a homicidal tree, as the Sumeragi so elegantly put it." brbr  
  
"This I gotta see."brbr  
  
"Leave them be. Let them have twin bonding time. Meanwhile, I have something to tell you," the Tree replied.brbr  
  
"What's that?" Seishirou asked, blinking a couple times.brbr  
  
"It's about iyour/i sister." brbr  
  
center* * * */centerbrbr  
i  
"Naomi-chan! It's Halloween, Naomi-neechan!" Seishirou, no older then five or six called out, smiling brightly, rogue black hair falling around his face.brbr  
  
"Sei-chan! You're not in your costume?" Naomi, a girl of ten or so replied, pushing her little brother backwards. brbr  
  
"Oof! Sorry, neechan! I just wanted to come and see you when you came home from school! I'll go get changed!" Seishirou replied, smiling brightly still, honey-brown eyes filled with childish innocence.brbr  
  
"Alright, Sei-chan!" Naomi said, watching her brother take off. brbr  
  
"You realize, Naomi, this is the last Halloween you'll have with him," Setsuka said quietly from behind the girl.brbr  
  
"That's why, it has to be our best," Naomi replied, turning to her mother. The girl flashed her mom a saddened smile, then turned away again.brbr  
  
"Whatever you say, Naomi-chan," Setsuka said quietly.brbr  
  
"You're going to turn him against you, Kaasan. When you kill me, he will never forgive you," Naomi said very softly, then walked off.brbr  
  
Setsuka smiled at her retreating form. "Yes... but he'll be without liabilities, the perfect killing machine." /i  
brbr  
Next 


	3. Chapter 2

bSevered 02/b  
brbr  
"Nee-san!" Subaru ran toward his long dead sister, arms out stretched... and fell right through her, just barely managing to catch himself before he could hit the ground with what would have been an embarrassing thud.  
brbr  
The older of the twins (technically only by two minutes), wrinkled her nose at her brother. "You can't touch me Subaru, I no longer exist on your plane remember?" she said, and then rolled her eyes in irritation. "Actually, I'm not even sure I want to hug you, you're being very stupid when it comes to Sei-chan lately, " and after a slight pause, she concluded with: "and ruining all of my hard work I might add."   
brbr  
"Hokuto-chaaaan!" Subaru whined to her, a perfect imitation of his sixteen year old self. The humor was lost as Subaru brought his arms up and wrapped them around himself, having to be satisfied with holding that much since he could not hold his twin. He lowered his gaze as his eyes filled with tears, "I missed you so much, Nee-san."  
brbr  
Her features softened as she beheld her suffering brother, and she reached to smooth the hair out of his eyes, but stopped short when she remembered her ethereal nature. "I missed you too, Subaru."   
brbr  
* * * *  
brbr  
The Sakurazuka didn't really hate its former provider, per say, she couldn't really seem to hate one of the members of the clan that had served her for generations... an intense dislike was more appropriate. Sakurazuka Setsuka had been one of her more disturbed guardians, mentally as well as emotionally.  
brbr  
When she had killed her only daughter, it had not been to create the "perfect killing machine", but was an act perpetuated in order to gain sole possession of Seishirou's affections. Unfortunately for her, an innocent seven year old Seishirou truly came to know the meaning of the word "hate" when he had learned of his sister's death, which was also an action that had led to his emotional ineptness later on.   
brbr  
Seishirou was so pained by the loss of his sister that he became emotionally unresponsive. He did not want to feel any longer, he had never wanted to be hurt again, so he sealed himself away. For the better part of ten years, Seishirou's emotions lurked within the depths of his heart... waiting. Then, a chance encounter with a small child had brought them back full force, even though he was so out of practice in dealing with his emotions that he didn't even realize when he had started to act upon them.  
brbr  
Thus was the impetus of the ancient tree's dislike for the mother of one of her favorites. Perhaps if Seishirou had not experienced such an overwhelming loss, then he would be far less emotionally confused as he currently was. Perhaps also, he would not be suffering from his dilemma with the Sumeragi, for neither of them would have doubts about the other and they could live in peace.  
brbr  
However, this was certainly not the case, the Sakura reflected to herself, so she was going to have to repair some of the emotional damage caused by her previous caretaker.  
brbr  
* * * *  
i  
"'Ka-san! Naomi-neechan! Tadaima!" Seishirou's lilting seven year-old voice had called. Silence was his only response.   
brbr  
Curiosity, mixed with a tinge of worry compelled him to go in search of his family members. He made his way throughout the house, and in finding nothing, decided to check the backyard.  
brbr  
Sliding back the delicate shouji and stepping onto the emerald grass, Seishirou's honeyed eyes reflected the sun as he escaped the shade, nearing the scene displayed before him.  
brbr  
His golden eyes liquified as they filled with tears. Almost too shocked to speak, he could only mutter, "N-Neechan... daijobu ka?" Somewhere in the recesses of his young mind he knew that she was /inoti all right, that she would never be all right again.   
brbr  
Setsuka had frowned at her son. Not because she had just removed her right hand from her daughter's chest, not because she felt even the slightest remorse for what she had just done, not because of the pain that she had caused both of her children, or even because she would miss Naomi. She had frowned because she noticed that Seishirou was still only wearing the white socks that he had gone to school in, and was probably ruining them with grass stains. This irritated her.  
brbr  
Seishirou had just made it to his sister's side when his knees finally gave out and he sank to the ground. "Neechan...Iie..." was all he could manage to say as he reached to cradle his dying sister in his arms.  
brbr  
With an irritated grunt, Setsuka had gotten up from where she had been kneeling and headed toward the house. She hadn't wanted to be bothered by the emotional scene that she would have been a witness to had she stayed. So she simply removed herself from it.   
brbr  
Naomi, being somewhat more knowledgeable about the circumstances of her own death than her brother, attempted to explain them... if only she could think straight. "Sei-chan... don't give her... what she wants...", she had managed.  
brbr  
Seishirou just wrinkled his brow in confusion and despair and replied with, "Nani ka, Neechan? I don't understand."  
brbr  
With the last of her strength, she attemptd to clarify for her little brother. She brought a hand up and pointed to Seishirou's heart with a trembling finger. "Use this... always..." was all that she had been able to bring herself to say as the last of her energy gave and she surrendered to the darkness of death.   
brbr  
"Neechan? ... Iie... don't leave me alone... with her. Please, Neechan," Seishirou sobbed into his dead sister's shoulder. "...Please." He sat, and rocked, and held her lifeless form.   
brbr  
Once inside, Setsuka had headed toward the kitchen to make some tea. As she filled the pot with water, her lips parted in a smirk that no one could see. "Hn, he'll get over it soon enough."  
brbr  
However, Seishirou did /inoti just "get over it." He stayed like that for a long time. He had stayed while the crimson stain on the bright grass dried and turned into a passionless brown. He had stayed until he exhausted himself from the tears and had fallen asleep, all the while clinging to Naomi.   
/ibrbr  
* * * *  
brbr  
"Hokuto-chan, you've somehow managed to eat an ice cream sundae and get it all over me as well," Subaru observed, watching his sister, who was making quite a mess with the ice cream that she couldn't eat, but had still demanded he buy for her.   
brbr  
Hokuto looked up at him and scowled. "Subaru!" she said very sternly, eyes narrowing to slits. "All I got on you was a single spot, the rest was because you let yours melt!"   
brbr  
"I didn't intend to, but you decided to lecture me!" Subaru said defensively. Hokuto just smirked in response and returned to gobbling incessantly, which resulted in the ground being very messy, and covered in bits of ice cream. Subaru made a mental note to pay the janitors an extra hundred or so.  
brbr  
"So, Subaru. Let's talk about Sei-chan, ne? What's up with you and him, hmmm?" Hokuto demanded to know, glaring at her brother over a spoon of strawberry ice cream. Proof once again that she was indeed a Sumeragi, despite her flamboyant behavior.   
brbr  
"He's a cold-hearted emotionless murderer," Subaru stated flatly, sounding thoroughly annoyed with Hokuto's question.   
brbr  
"Now now, if he was emotionless, I don't think you'd be alive. Am I right?" Hokuto said, pointing the now empty spoon at her younger brother, whose cheeks prompty tainted a light shade of pink that matched the ice cream in her bowl perfectly.   
brbr  
After a few moments of silence, Subaru glanced away. "I don't matter enough to him for him to kill me," Subaru stated, sounding hurt by this statement, and sounding like he truly believed it.   
brbr  
Hokuto glared at her younger brother, looking like she would like very much to grab him by his head and slam him into a brick wall. Luckily, she couldn't, or she might have. "Subaru, I'm going to say this once, and only once, and you are going to listen. You are a threat to him. You are the only onmyouji in all of Japan who knows his identity and has enough power to kill him. You are worth killing, yet he has not. That proves isomething/i, whether you like it or not!"   
brbr  
Subaru paused, giving his sister a long suffering look. "It proves that he doesn't care if I'm a danger, because he knows I'd never be able to kill him," Subaru stated softly, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice, and failing miserably in doing so.   
brbr  
Hokuto, despite her fury at her brother's stubbornness, paused. She wasn't sure how to reply to that without making her brother burst into hysterical tears, or some other unwanted emotional outburst. "Subaru, you're very dense. Sei-chan wanted to hold you, earlier today, didn't he? But you jerked away. He asked you not to let go. That proves isomething/i too. Whether you like it or not!"   
brbr  
Subaru sighed, pulling his knees onto the bench, arms wrapped around them. "I don't know what that was about," he replied honestly, resisting the urge to burst into tears at the mention of it.   
brbr  
Hokuto let out a long sigh. Her brother could be a very stubborn man when he chose to, but it was well-known that she was the more stubborn Sumeragi sibling. She knew if she pushed the right buttons, she'd be able to get Subaru to believe her. It would just take time. She grinned slyly at her brother who looked pained at her obvious contemplation. "Subaru, what's wrong?" she asked innocently.   
brbr  
Subaru let his head thunk against the table in obvious exasperation. "Hokuto-chan, what on earth are you up to?" he asked, sounding extremely paranoid. He knew his sister, and whatever it was, was going to more then likely result in him blushing and stuttering like an idiot.   
brbr  
"Whatever are you talking about, my dear brother?"  
brbr  
"Hokuto-chan, you are malicious and shameless. Not only that, you are up to something, and I want to know what it is, so I don't end up stuttering and going through the shades of a ripening tomato," Subaru replied very bluntly.   
brbr  
Hokuto simply grinned at her little brother, wagging a finger in the air. "You'll see!"   
brbr  
"That's what I'm afraid of..."   
brbr  
"Is that your pager?" Hokuto asked when she heard a sharp beeping noise coming from Subaru's pocket. Subaru nodded, reaching down to pick it up, and read the number. Then he sighed. "What is it?"   
brbr  
"It's a job," Subaru stated softly in response, still staring at the numbers playing over the small screen atop the black beeper.   
brbr  
"Well that simply will not do. I will not have an unwanted ghost interupting my plans. Send it back and say you're busy!" Hokuto demanded, giving her brother a pointed look.  
brbr  
"But Hokuto-chan..." Subaru started to reply, but stopped at the furious look his sister was giving him.  
brbr  
"Don't you 'but Hokuto-chan' me! You're going to send it back and spend time with me!" Hokuto said furiously, green eyes flashing angrily in a manner that quite clearly said no one or thing was to disagree with her, and if they dared to do so, they would fall victim to one of her screeching fits.   
brbr  
Subaru stared at her pleadingly for a few minutes before he finally gave him. "Let me go to a pay phone and call obaachan," he stated softly, standing up.   
brbr  
"Tell her you want two weeks vacation time for working non-stop the past nine years!" Hokuto said furiously, glaring at Subaru who paled.   
brbr  
"I didn't know you were watching..." he stated very softly, his cheeks tinging pink.   
brbr  
"Subaru, did you think I'd forget about you? Sakura-chan is very nice to me, she says I can watch you all I want. I think that's because I beat her at chess, though..." Hokuto paused, tapping her chin.   
brbr  
Subaru stared at his sister. "You played chess against the carnivorous tree..? What the... you know, nevermind, I don't want to know," he stated, then promptly walked to a pay phone that was near by.   
brbr  
* * * *  
brbr  
"You had something about Naomi-neechan to tell me, Saku-chan?" Seishirou asked the Sakurazuka while lighting a cigarette. He propped his feet up on his coffee table, ignoring all regard for manners as he really didn't care.  
brbr  
"Sure do," the Sakura replied, waiting for the obvious question that was to come.  
brbr  
It did. "What is it?" Seishirou asked.  
brbr  
"She's alive," the Sakura replied very bluntly.   
brbr  
Seishirou spit out the tea he had just sipped, and it proptly splattered across his television screen accordingly. "Come again?"   
brbr  
"Your sister is alive."   
brbr  
"I still think I didn't hear you right. I couldn't have," Seishirou replied, putting out his cigarette. He laid the bud in an ash tray and waited for the Tree's explanation.   
brbr  
"You're such a nutcase, Seishirou. You did hear me right. Your sister is alive. Of course, she's also in a hospital, and is just barely that, but she iis/i alive. You see, your sister, although having very little magical powers, still knew how to weave quite a maboroshi. The Naomi that died was an illusion. Your sister, however, slipped into a coma because of the magical strain and has just woken up, oh, two days ago," the Tree explained blandly, slightly amused by Seishirou's response.   
brbr  
"How is... how... where... how... " Seishirou muttered, trying desperately to form a complete sentence, but was still failing rather miserably.   
brbr  
"I just told you how she's alive, and the reason you didn't sense the maboroshi was because she requested that I cloak the magic from your mother. I wasn't sure if she'd ever come out of the coma, so I didn't tell you. I didn't want to get your hopes up," the Tree replied soothingly.   
brbr  
Seishirou, for once, truly smiled. "Should I go see her?"   
brbr  
"I want you to do something first. I want you to make up with Sumeragi-kun," the Tree replied blandly.  
brbr  
"What's that matter?" Seishirou grumbled.  
brbr  
"Your sister wanted you to use your heart, didn't she? So do it. You wouldn't want her to think you'd deny her dying wish, would you?" the Tree coxed, sounding amused.   
brbr  
"Subaru-kun hates me," Seishirou challanged. The Tree didn't reply. "What, no snide remark, Saku-chan?!"   
brbr  
"You yourself know how incredibly stupid that response was. I don't need to tell you that, Seishirou," the Tree replied irritatedly.   
brbr  
Seishirou grumbled. "Okay, you're right. But he doesn't love me anymore," he stated blandly in response.   
brbr  
"Even if he doesn't, which he does by the way, as long as you try you keep a sense of self. Just try, for me, okay?" the Tree replied, sounding slightly pleadingly.  
brbr  
Seishirou paused, then sighed, forfeiting. "I'll try to talk to Subaru-kun tomorrow," he offered.  
brbr  
"Good boy. Now go eat something, or you'll be a pig tomorrow," the Tree replied.  
brbr  
"There is nothing to eat in this house. I haven't shopped yet," Seishirou replied.  
brbr  
"Ice cream at Tokyo Tower?" the Tree offered.  
brbr  
Seishirou paused, as if thoroughly contemplating it. "Okay," he finally replied, then slipped on his shoes, and left. Without his coat.  
brbr  
* * * *  
brbr  
"No! We're not going home until you eat the mush that was once your ice cream, and a hot dog! You're too skinny!" Hokuto said firmly, glaring at her little brother who was cowering.  
brbr  
Subaru poked at the melted ice cream with his spoon, hesitant to eat it. "I'll eat two hot dogs if I get out of having to eat this... stuff," Subaru said pleadingly, looking at Hokuto with puppy eyes.  
brbr  
Hokuto pondered this for a moment then smiled. "Make it three," she said slyly.   
brbr  
Subaru nearly fell dead on the spot but managed to instead fall over. "Hokuto-chan, my stomach is not that big!" he whined softly.  
brbr  
"Tough luck, kiddo," she replied.   
brbr  
"Hokuto-chan!" Subaru whined, looking quite pitiful.  
brbr  
"What are you tormenting him about this time?" Seishirou asked the twins as he walked up the sidewalk. Subaru paled visably at the sight of him.  
brbr  
Hokuto, however, promptly cackled her usual laugh. "Subaru is not eating properly, so I demanded he eat either three hot dogs, or the mush and one hot dog!" she pointed at the melted ice cream to make her point.   
brbr  
Seishirou laughed, glancing at the ice cream in mild amusement. "Let it melt, have you?" he asked. A rhetorical question.   
brbr  
"Shut up," Subaru said stubbornly, curling up some. "I'll eat three hot dogs, but ihe/i has to buy them."  
brbr  
"My pleasure, Subaru-kun," Seishirou stated, smirking. "With ketchup, I presume?"   
brbr  
"Always," Subaru stated, giving Seishirou a withering look.   
brbr  
"Yay, Sei-chan!" Hokuto blurted out, howling with laughter that made Subaru want to hide under the picnic table they were sitting at.   
brbr  
Seishirou smirked, sauntering off to the food stand in the center of the meal court. Subaru watched him with a pained expression on his face. "How did he know how to find me?" he asked softly.  
brbr  
"Did you have a memory lapse or something?" Hokuto asked, blinking.  
brbr  
"I severed our bind," Subaru explained, holding up his hand.   
brbr  
"Oh, I see. Well, I don't know," Hokuto replied, watching as Seishirou walked back toward them.  
brbr  
"I got Hokuto-chan a hot dog as well, and one for myself, as I haven't eaten," Seishirou explained, setting a hot dog infront of Hokuto, then laid the tray of three infront of Subaru.   
brbr  
"She can't eat it," Subaru said, blinking a few times.  
brbr  
"It's still polite to give the lady something as well. It would be rude of us to eat without offering her some," Seishirou replied blandly.  
brbr  
"I may not be able to eat it, but I can taste it, Subaru!" Hokuto protested, promptly taking a bite out of the hot dog, which resulted in half of it being gone, and tumbling into the mess under where Hokuto was sitting.  
brbr  
"You're all just going to watch me eat all of these, aren't you?" Subaru whispered, looking quite pitiful as Hokuto and Seishirou both nodded. They looked incredibly amused. "First, answer me something. How did you find us?" he pointed at Seishirou to direct his question, should Hokuto think she was being addressed.  
brbr  
"Actually, Saku-chan suggested coming here for something to eat since I'm out of groceries. Of course, I'm willing to bet she did it because you are here, but I came because I was hungry," Seishirou explained, taking a bite out of his hotdog, still watching Subaru in amusement.   
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Subaru whimpered a few times, then started on his first hot dog, eating it in small nibbles. "Well... uhm..." he started, trying to make conversation and failing miserably.  
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"Sei-chan, Subaru! Let's go to Tokyo Tower's special viewing platform after you're done! It'll be like old times!" Hokuto suggested, beaming brightly at the idea.  
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"If Subaru-kun wants to," Seishirou replied nonchalantly, leaving the decision to Subaru who paled visably.   
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After finishing his first hot dog, Subaru nodded. "Okay. We can," he replied. Hokuto burst out laughing, and Seishirou smiled very faintly. A smile no one was meant to see.   
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* * * *  
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Seishirou, the Tree mused with mild amusement, could be quite dense sometimes. He hadn't even realized that the Tree might be setting him up on a 'date' with his favorite plaything. Silly fool.  
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It wasn't that she really cared about Seishirou's love life, because frankly, she didn't. It was more up to five basic factors.  
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Seishirou loved Subaru. Subaru loved Seishirou. Subaru was always depressed because he and Seishirou weren't together. Seishirou was always frustrated for that reason as well. And Naomi would kill Seishirou if she knew he was thirty-four and still single.  
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Of course, the idea of Naomi actually ikilling/i Seishirou, actually amused the Sakura. Mainly because there were only two people capable of doing it, without Seishirou fighting back. Subaru and Naomi.  
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The tree let out a mental sigh, then contemplated talking to Naomi. When she was a child, she had always been quite a conversationalist. Naomi would surely be entertaining. Of course, not as entertaining as what was happening at Tokyo Tower.  
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It was quite amazing how much the Sumeragi could shove into his stomach if he actually put forth an effort. It was even more amusing to watch him chewing stubbornly on the third hotdog after nearly getting sick on the previous.   
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Absently, the Sakurazuka wondered how long the Sumeragi would be able to keep that up without actually vomitting up his lunch. Well, if the Sumeragi iwas/i going to vomit...  
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... He had better do it on Seishirou. That would be altogether very funny. The tree found it a shame that she herself could not be present for the event. Or, maybe she could...  
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* * * *  
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"Miss Sakurazuka?" a voice asked calmly, earning a strangled yawn from the form laying in the hospital bed.  
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"Huh?" Naomi asked, reaching up to rub at her eyes, but found her arms to be stiff and sore. She blinked a few times, trying to sit up, and again found herself unable to do so. "What's wrong with me?"  
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"You've been in a coma for twenty-seven years. We thought you'd never wake up," the voice, who Naomi recognized as a doctor by his white clothing, informed her.   
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Naomi blinked a few times, letting her mind process this information. "Where's my brother?" she asked, looking up at the doctor.   
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"Your brother? No one has been to visit you," the doctor said softly. "We thought you had no living relatives."  
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"WHAT!?" she blurted out, sounding infuriated.  
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"Miss Sakurazuka, please calm down. First, your mother, Sakurazuka Setsuka is deceased. You have no other registered family members," the doctor tried to explain.   
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Naomi glared daggers at the doctor. "Sakurazuka Seishirou. Age..." she paused, letting numbers add up in her head. "Thirty-four. Resident in Tokyo, I guarentee it."  
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"I'll have one of the nurses look him up," the doctor replied. "Now, I need to take your vital stats. If you please..."  
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"No. Go get my brother. Now."  
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"But Miss Sakurazuka..."  
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"Now, I said!"   
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"O-of course," the doctor replied, recognizing the fury in his patients eyes. "Right away, miss." And with that, he turned and left the room.   
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Naomi closed her eyes, frustrated at being unable to move. "You! Where is Seishirou?!" she asked the tree furiously.  
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"Tokyo Tower, with his psuedo-boyfriend," the Tree replied nonchalantly.  
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Naomi blinked a few times, then stiffled snickers. "Sei-chan is homosexual?"   
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"Yes. He'll be in to visit you tomorrow. Cooperate with the doctors, please."  
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"Okay. Get him in here as soon as possible," Naomi demanded, then closed her eyes, sighing. She was going to need to rest, and think up ways to needle Seishirou. That was always a fun hobby.  
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"Oh, and Naomi-chan?" the Tree asked softly.  
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"Yes?"   
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"Seishirou only has one eye. Don't freak out when you see him, he might get rather upset. And if he brings Subaru with him, Subaru will panic."  
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"W-what?! Subaru.. who?"  
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"His psuedo-boyfriend and the Thirteenth Head of the Sumeragi Clan."  
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"Oh, it figures. Why would he panic?"  
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"Seishirou lost his eye protecting Subaru."  
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"Oh. Poor Sumeragi-kun," Naomi said softly. "Poor Sei-chan, having tastes that run in our hated enemies."  
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"That's what I tell him all the time. Then he vehemently denies having any such feelings."  
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"Typical man," Naomi replied, smiling slightly.   
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The Sakurazuka just laughed. "I have to go. Hokuto is forcing a fourth hotdog down the Sumeragi's throat, and I have to link myself to Seishirou to find out the details. This should be amusing."  
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"Why's that?"  
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"The Sumeragi is practically anorexic," the Tree explained, then Naomi burst out laughing. The tree vanished from her senses, but she didn't stop laughing. The idea of her pig of a brother being with an anorexic man amused her almost as much as the time Seishirou fell down the stairs, back in the highschool, that the Tree had been kind enough to inform her of. 


	4. Chapter 3

iyes, I know the html screwed up on one of the chapters, and no, i have no idea why. as I don't have microsoft word, I can't upload the chapter's from that. Maybe i'll get Kira to do it. Anyway, enjoy? And no lemon yet./i  
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brbSevered 03/b  
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As he and Seishirou rode the elevator up, Subaru noted with some suspicion, his sister's absence.   
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Memories of a previous evening in Tokyo Tower alone with Seishirou floated to the surface of his mind as he stood in silence. However, they only brought with them despair over what he wanted but thought could never have.  
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Seishirou on the other hand, noting Hokuto's disappearance, began to feel slightly worried at what they might find when they stepped out of the elevator. His suspicions were confirmed a few moments later when they arrived and the doors slid apart to reveal the observation deck completely barren.  
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Subaru released a sigh. "Why am I not surprised...?"  
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Walking over to a large window, Seishirou replied with, "I'm not either actually."  
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Subaru followed the dark onmyouji and stood near him by the window. "Seishirou-san...", Subaru cleared his throat before continuing, "why did you hug me earlier? And... and ask me not to let go?"  
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Seishirou was a bit startled as he had not been expecting this iparticular/i question. But, now that it had been asked he realized that he did owe Subaru an answer to it. He heaved a slight sigh. Seishirou had never been one to articulate his feelings, he had never been one to deal with feelings iat all/i for that matter. He found the mere concept of this difficult.   
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However, as the Sakurazuka had made him aware of earlier, he had not honored his sister's dying wish to use his heart... to feel. Seishirou felt a twinge of guilt at this. He had deeply loved his sister, was in fact joyous that she was not truly dead, but the fact remained that after her death he had taken the selfish path and had hidden his emotions within the recesses of his heart.  
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The silence of the abandoned viewing platform crept between them as the minutes passed. Subaru was patient however. He had waited nine years for Seishirou to respond to him on isome/i emotional level, he felt that he could certainly wait a few more minutes.  
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Seishirou leaned against the railing that was in front of the glass on the observation deck, gazing out at the city. "Subaru-kun," he began, slight hesitation creeping into his voice, "when you severed our tie, I realized how dependant I had become on it. I found that I... missed it."  
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Subaru caught his breath. His right hand tightening its grip on the railing, turning the knuckles white. His heart began to flutter like a trapped butterfly. These were things he wanted to hear so badly, but now that he might be faced with the reality of them he was no longer so sure.  
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Seishirou turned his mismatched gold and white to Sumeragi emerald and held the gaze. These were things that he needed open between them, but that did not lessen the effort that it took for him to say them. "When I hugged you earlier, it was because I realized that I needed you."  
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"Seishirou-san..." Subaru's eyes had started to shimmer with the beginnings of tears, so he simply clenched them shut. His left hand began to tremble so he knotted it in the fabric of his coat.   
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Not one to give up, Seishirou simply continued. "I asked you not to let go because..." He paused to steel himself. He had never given Subaru the slightest bit of encouragement, or truth, and he reflected that his slight discomfort at admitting all of this was certainly adequate punishment. Seishirou opened his eyes, not knowing when he had closed them in the first place, and continued, "... because it felt so good, and I thought that you would leave. And you did."  
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Subaru lowered his head in the realization that he had hurt Seishirou.  
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"Why did you leave Subaru-kun?" Then he uttered a word that perhaps no one had heard since he was a small child pleading with his dying sister not to leave him: please. "Please tell me why."  
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"Gomen ne, Seishirou-san. I never wanted to hurt you." Subaru lifted his head to look at his counterpart. Seishirou gave him truth, Subaru knew; and he wanted to give it in return, but it was a truth that Subaru had not fully admitted to himself yet. "Its so hard, to know that you feel... that you care. About me. I wanted it for so long and so badly, but I had resigned myself that you never would... never could."  
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"You --" Subaru cleared his throat as his voice almost broke with emotion, but he controlled himself and managed to continue, "you were the hunter, and I was your prey." Seishirou winced, barely noticeable, at Subaru's reminder of this. "For a long time, I thought that was all there was and all there ever would be."   
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After some hesitation, Subaru decided to get to the heart of the matter: Seishirou's question. "I left because I was afraid," Subaru lowered his voice to almost a whisper as he continued, "... of letting myself love you."  
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"Even after you killed Hokuto, I still loved you; and I felt so guilty because of that. I didn't iwant/i to love you because you had killed her, and because you broke my heart, and then you left me alone... when that was the last thing I wanted."  
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Seishirou released a breath he hadn't even known he was holding. Subaru had just admitted that he loved him. He experienced immense relief at that thought, but it was quickly overtaken by guilt and despair at Subaru's other words. Seishirou's hands balled into fists at his sides. "I'm sorry Subaru-kun."  
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Subaru's head snapped up at those words. He had never expected Seishirou to apologize for what he had done, never would have entertained it as a possibility. He came to the conclusion that he might have to rethink just how much Seishirou felt for him.   
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But, like a breeze stirring the fires within him, Subaru felt a flash of anger. "How can you say that to me? You have no idea what I lost. You... you took everything from me!"  
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Seishirou just stared at Subaru for a long moment and watched as those emerald eyes rippled with emotion. Subaru had always been one to feel everything keenly, which made it all the more odd that he seemed to stir the same within Seishirou.   
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"I ido/i know." Subaru blinked back tears before they threatened to spill and stared at the older man in shock. "Do you think that you are the only one who has hidden from their pain, Subaru-kun? I came home from school one afternoon to find that my mother had shoved her fist through my sister's chest. Her dying request of me was that I always use my heart."  
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"But, I didn't do that did I? I locked away my feelings for years and then made the only other person that I loved experience the same pain of losing a sister. And why? Because iI/i was afraid. I was afraid of knowing what it meant to love you. I was afraid that you, with your Sumeragi purity, would leave me when you found out that I was the Sakurazukamori. I was afraid of being hurt iagain/i by someone that I loved."  
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Subaru could no longer control his tears, and they spilled freely in rivulets down his face. Seishirou reached over, putting a hand against Subaru's cheek, and used his thumb to wipe tears away. "I iam/i sorry... for everything."  
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The younger man grabbed the hand that was pressed against his face, turned his head and kissed the palm. "I know."  
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Seishirou took this as an invitation and leaned closer to Subaru, pinning him against the railing. Subaru's left arm slid up Seishirou's right until he had his hand on the other's neck, while his right reached behind himself and clutched at the railing. Seishirou leaned toward the Sumeragi, gently pressing against his lips, a request, to which Subaru acknowledged by bringing Seishirou closer to him with the hand around the other's neck.  
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Their first kiss was full of emotional tension, but they quickly relaxed into it. They stayed like that for a while, just kissing, each enjoying the feel of the other near him, taking pleasure in the experience, reveling in the warmth and safety that they gave one another.  
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After a few eternal minutes, they parted. Out of breath, their faces were flushed with passion.  
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* * * *  
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They stayed for hours it seemed, although it was only less than one. Seishirou stood behind Subaru and held him as they looked out onto the city together. "I suppose we should head home, it's getting late," he said with much regret. He was reluctant to let these moments end... they both were.   
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After pondering for a moment, Subaru finally replied. "Can I stay with you?"  
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Seishirou buried his face in the crook of Subaru's neck. "I was hoping you'd say that... but I don't expect you to --"  
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Subaru cut him off by turning around and putting a hand against Seishirou's cheek, "I know. It's just... I don't want to be away from you."  
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"Ok." Was all he said, then he leaned down to kiss Subaru again.  
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This time the kiss was filled with desperation as well as passion. They each wanted more, but neither were ready. For two who had been apart for so long, all the while desiring each other, to suddenly have the thing that they wanted was almost overwhelming.   
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The final conclusion of the kiss was a long time coming, but when it did, they walked out of the tower together.  
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* * * *  
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A nervous flush rose to Subaru's cheeks. He had only been to Seishirou's apartment once before, and that was earlier in the day; and even then, he hadn't stayed for very long.  
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Subaru took his coat and shoes off, walked over to the couch and sat down while Seishirou did the same. He just sat there with his hands pressed between his knees to keep them from shaking.  
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Seishirou walked over and ran light fingers through Subaru's hair. "Do you want to take the couch, or are you willing to share a bed with me?" he asked in slight amusement.  
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Subaru just smiled to himself, stood up and gave Seishirou a quick but firm kiss. "What do you think?" Seishirou just grinned, then he retreated into the bedroom leaving Subaru with the choice to follow him.  
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When he entered, a pair of black silken pajamas was dropped into his hands. "You can wear those, although I think they'll be a bit too big." Then he pointed to a partly closed door and said, "you can change in there."  
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Subaru, who was still a little nervous, nodded his thanks and retreated into the bathroom.  
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When the younger onmyouji was gone, Seishirou just grinned to himself. He was happy, he had every reason to be. The one he loved was here with him, his sister was still alive, and the Sakurazuka was being merciful and had decided to leave him alone for the evening.  
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Seishirou normally slept in a pair of flannel pants, nothing else, and that was what he changed into. It would be interesting to see Subaru's reaction at this.  
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Subaru emerged swimming in Seishirou's black silk. He had rolled up the sleeves and pant legs, which Seishirou thought looked adorable, so he said so. "You look adorable," he noted from his position in the bed.  
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If Subaru was apprehensive at all about the fact that Seishirou was not wearing a shirt, he didn't appear to be. He made his way over to the bed and climbed in next to Seishirou.  
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The only light in the room was provided by the city as it filtered through the closed blinds of a large picture window.  
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When Subaru was settled, Seishirou reached over and pulled Subaru over to him. Subaru tensed a little for a second and then relaxed when Seishirou kissed his hair.  
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"Aishiteru, Subaru-kun."  
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"I love you too," he replied. Then he lifted Seishirou's hand from his waist, kissed the back of it, and then put it back where it belonged: around himself. 


End file.
